Between Two Worlds

The Journey of Heart and Home

As I sit here in my familiar but not-so-familiar bedroom in my parents' house in India, and as the time to return to the Netherlands draws closer, I can't help but think about how many things have changed in the last two years.

I lived in India for 27 years before moving to the Netherlands, my new home. Everything feels different here, from the new wallpaper in my bedroom to the newly constructed roads, and even the increased prices of everyday items due to inflation.

These two years have brought a lot of changes to all our lives. Mom and Dad have adapted to life without us and have started doing things for themselves, even if it’s not that much. They have their daily routines and manage to attend a couple of social events; my mom has a better social life for sure. I have learned to live independently, cook my meals, and take care of myself. I feel I have grown so much as a person. I have become more patient and less scared to do some things.

Between Two worlds

But let’s start from the beginning before I take you on this nostalgia trip with me. I am visiting my parents here in India. This is one trip I am always more than excited about. There is so much to look forward to, from spending quality time with my parents to having those home-cooked meals and other Indian food that I have missed so much, to all those memories that I can rekindle by meeting friends or just going around the area I live in. Plus, there's the comfort that you only get once you are home with your parents, where you forget about all your worries for that time.

I landed in India at 8:30 in the morning, with the temperature at 38 degrees. Yes, it’s pretty hot here in India, especially in the northern part where I live. My parents were at the airport to take me back home. There's nothing quite like the feeling of pure bliss when seeing them after a long time, especially after being used to seeing them every day on a video call.

My mom made my favourite meal, "Rajma Chawal," which I hadn’t tasted in its authentic form since I left. We all sat together at the dining table, with Mom and Dad excitedly sharing their stories and everything that I had missed. We talked about everything from our lives to politics, catching up on all the moments we hadn’t been able to share over video calls.

I have been enjoying my favourite home-cooked dishes now that I am back home for a while. It's nice to finally have some time to relax and spend with my family. I went out for dinner and shopping with my mom and dad, and also visited my aunts to enjoy their delicious cooking. Luckily, it was Mother's Day, so we all celebrated together.

I have been on a mission to savour every Indian delicacy while I can. For example, "Chole bhature" is one of my favourites. But let's face it, I will have to start a serious relationship with the gym to make up for all these culinary indulgences once I go back!

Chole Bhature and Rajma Chawal (Stock photos)

To be honest, It's not like the old times anymore when I could fight with my parents and not worry about having it resolved as soon as possible. I've come to truly appreciate the time I spend with them. I try to spend as much time as possible, take care of them, understand them, and avoid conflicts compared to the past because I always know in the back of my mind that this time is short. I can’t afford to have them feeling upset or sad while I am leaving.

The agenda is now always fully booked with things to do, people to meet, and preparations for going back to my second home. It feels like I'm a temporary guest in my own house. My parents are always busy preparing things for me to take back.

I sometimes wonder if this is how life is supposed to be. I visit my parents for a short period, and then I'm already preparing to return, leaving them to take care of themselves alone. On the other hand, if you ask me to imagine life in India again, the answer doesn't come immediately. But one thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to live this far away from my parents and not be able to take care of them!

These constant goodbyes are inevitable for now, and I know I am going to miss my parents, the home, and the home-cooked food already. In the end, perhaps for now, it’s a series of departures and arrivals, but I know we’ll figure it out in the end and manage to take care of each other and find the balance we have been looking for all this while.